I was raised in the Church, and had a heart for God all of my life. I had a burning desire to be pleasing to God. This desire was foremost in my thoughts most of my childhood.

I fell in love and got married during this time. All was well with the world, except at night, I found myself crying myself to sleep. In the morning, I was fine again. But come bedtime the tears would fall. I thought this was super idiotic, so I made sure my husband did not know what was happening. The nights were easier when he was out to sea.

One Saturday evening, in April of 1976, I stepped into the bathroom to wash my hands. As I was rinsing them, I looked up into the mirror, and said, “There has got to be more to You than this, Lord!”

The next morning, for the first time in about 5 years, I went back to church, only because I had no idea how else to connect back with God. While I sat there, I found myself crying again. But this time, they were tears of joy, and the most incredible sense of peace enveloped me. I had the feeling that the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders!!! I felt like a new creature, and I did not even realize the validity of that feeling.

Suddenly, I was being asked what my church believed, and why. I could tell them WHAT we believed, I did not necessarily know WHY. I figured, since it was church, what we believed had to be in the Bible. I found out I had to get into the Word of God to see what He had to say on any given topic that came up for discussion. I found many things in The Word, which I had been taught since childhood, and thus, strengthened those beliefs, but I also found things in The Word, which belied things I had been taught. I had to choose to follow The Word of God, or follow the traditions of men. There was never any choice. The Word won out.

About this time, someone asked me how long had I been saved, and without thinking, answered, “All my life.” When God want to get my attention, He grabs the back of my neck, like a mother cat grabs the neck of her kittens. I knew I had just said something wrong, but for the life of me I did not know what it was. So as soon as I was alone, I asked Him.

“What, what did I say that was wrong”

“You said you had always been saved.”

“Well, I have been.”

“No, you haven’t.”

“What do You mean, I haven’t!?! Of course I have been. All my life I wanted nothing but to be pleasing to You. When I was failing every subject in school, I was making A’s in Catechism. I looked for ways to please You, even if it was uncomfortable for me. Don’t You remember this…..or….that? I have ALWAYS loved You!!! How can You say I was not saved?!!!”

(Now I must pause here to reflect on the infinite patience of God. How dare we think we can tell Him something He does not already know, or think we can correct an erroneous idea He has in His head!!! Why He does not send lightning bolts flying through the skies and strikes us in our tracks, is a reflection of His patience and His Grace. And do we learn after the first time? No, we correct Him over and over again, and He still has not zapped us. And that He would bother explaining Himself is amazing beyond belief!)

“You could not love Me, because you did not know Me.”

Now He had my attention. “Huh?”

“You can not love someone you do not know. You may be able to admire them, but until you get to know them, you can not love them”

I was baffled now. “Then what was that back then?”

“You were in love with the idea of who you thought God was. But you did not know Me; therefore you could not love Me.”

His reasoning made perfect sense to me. I woke me up to the fact that there are sitting in pews across this nation, and the world, every Sunday, people who may have a genuine heart for God, but they do not know Him, and will not share in Heaven with Him. My heart broke, and these people have been a burden on my heart ever since.

If you are sitting in a church building, week after week because you have a heart to be pleasing to God, but you have not met Him, or made Him The Lord of your life, please, right now cry out to Him to reveal Himself to you. He has already paid the price for your sins, for no other purpose than that He loves you and want to spend all eternity with you. Now, you need to give Him all of you and obey His commands. To know what those are, you need to be in The Word of God. When you hear teachings that contradict the Bible, then the Bible MUST win out. After all, when you stand before God on the day of your judgment, He will judge you by His standard, The Bible.

Rom 10:9, 10 “if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you
will be saved. For with the heart, one believes unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto
salvation.”

Please note: You must believe He died for you sins, and that He was raised from the dead. You MUST also make Him The Lord of every aspect of your life to spend eternity with Him.

May the grace of the Lord Jesus, The Messiah, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with you all.